Weekend Recap

Merrill Hodge is on Sportscenter and he ranks among the top 25 people I'd most like to see fall into a trash compactor, so I need something to do on this glorious monday afternoon, so ladies and gentlemen, I present to you with FPTT's weekend in review.

College Football:
A pretty horrible weekend for college football games. One minor top 25 upset (Arkansas over #17 Auburn) and the marquee match up between Tebow's bruised brain and LSU tigers was nothing but nap fuel. Luckily there are about 5 or 6 really good games coming up next weekend, so college football will probably survive.

NFL:
Again, nothing earth-shattering and the Bears had a bye, so if this doesn't rank as one of, if not the, worst week of pro football at the end of the season I'll be surprised. The only major surprise was the Broncos beating the Pats in OT to remain undefeated, followed by Josh McDaniels hopping around the field like a little school girl... Is it just me or does that guy put out a huge little-brother-who's-just-happy-to-be-invited-to-the-party-vibe. In every interview I've seen with this guy it looks like there should be a glass of milk and a peanut butter sandwich cut into 4ths just off camera. And that little love fest with Brandon Marshall after last week's game was seriously difficult to watch for some reason, but I digress. So besides Josh Daniels girlish antics, nothing interesting happened. The league continues to boast some all time suckfests (see: Raiders, Rams, Bills, Skins, Bucs, Lions, etc) which will probably become the top story this season as about 6 or 7 teams should all be at or under 3 wins at the end of the season.


MLB Playoffs:
The Twins, Red Sox and Cardinals all were bounced in 3 straight games. I would have liked to see the Twins make it a little more competitive with the Yankess, but I couldn't be more happy to see the other two teams get the hell out of the playoffs, with my reasoning being this: As a Cubs fan, the MLB playoffs represent an annual kick to the pants, and any team that reminds me of the Cubs, in any way, winning a series makes the kick to the pants a little harder. The Cardinals obviously monkey stomped the Cubs in the central so now that they're out, I don't have to watch games and hear the words NL Central any more this season. As for the Red Sox, they used to be a fellow member of the baseball fraternity of depressing ineptitude, but now that they have trophies on the shelf and, you know, a competent front office that doesn't perennially make moronic free agent signings, it hurts to watch them succeed. They're kind of like the classmate in high school who got the same grades as you, and now you find out they're making $100k a year while you're still unemployed. Damn it baseball, you and your too close to home analogies.

My picks:
4-2 against the spread... too bad I don't have money or a bookie

Chicago Marathon:
Nothing makes everybody in an entire city feel like worthless fat slobs more than thousands of people running 26.2 miles through the heart of said city. This is easy to tell when half the media coverage/overheard comments about it are along the lines of "why would anybody want to run so many miles?" Any time I hear this asked I always want to respond with something like: "Yeah, well we're all impressed with your 10 minutes of walking on the treadmill every week, but any person without a major physical impediment can train/finish a marathon... I mean, Oprah ran one... Oprah. The problem comes with your 4 weekly visits to mcdonalds for bacon mcgriddles and eggnog milkshakes." One day I'll let that fly.