I'm not going to make writing about golf a habit, but the golf world has actually provided some pretty hilarious melodrama recently. Just when you thought the most controversial thing that could happen at a golf tournament was an incident involving Michael Jordan, a cigar, and the major of Philadelphia, this happens....A little tiff between U.S. golfer Anthony Kim and Australian Robert Allenby following some golf tournament that pitted U.S. golfers against the golfers from the rest of the world (kind of like Rocky IV without anything cool happening... actually not at all like Rocky IV except the underlying xenophobia). Without going all golfy on you and talking about actual things that happened on the golf course, Allenby uncorked this gem of a quote after losing to Kim and the U.S. by some weird team golf score that I don't understand or care about: "Maybe we should all take the theory of Anthony Kim, get home at 4 o'clock [in the morning] and then go shoot 6 under." In response to these allegations, Kim, the drunken sex fiend and probable coke addict managed to slur this response in between pulls from a bottle of everclear: "I was at the hotel, had dinner with the team, met my buddies for about 20 minutes, then went straight to my room. I was in tip-top shape. If Robert had that to say, he maybe needs to practice a little more."
My advice to this Pacman Jones of golf... just be a man and own up to this. It's amazing you were able to play a round of golf without puking all over yourself let alone laying a merciless beat down on some douchey Australian guy and the rest of the world. You did your country proud buddy, and you did it hungover.
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